


Mixing it Up

by OpheliaLMX



Series: Definitely not a romantic sub-plot... [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series), Critical Role (Web Series) RPF
Genre: Clearly implied off-screen sexual content!, Gen, If you haven't flirted with your friends in character have you even D&D, It's comedy but Fjord and Caleb have depths man, M/M, Nothing shippy in the RPF bits, Spoilers for e62, Unfairly run to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-01-24 09:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18568468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpheliaLMX/pseuds/OpheliaLMX
Summary: After a harrowing week, the Mighty Nein are ready to leave Xorhas. As the group run their final errands, Fjord decides to follow up on his little conversation with Caleb...- Or -After a heavy few weeks on Critical Role, Travis Willingham proves that he is not a man to underestimate. He can do shopping when he feels like it, and yes, he can do flirting too.Liam O'Brien, the progenitor of PC/PC relationships on the show, is not prepared in the least.And of course, it's D&D, so a good time is had by all.





	1. Before the Break

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by everyone who left such lovely feedback and Kudos on 'Reserved'! Every time it popped into my inbox it made me think of the story again, and steadily, a follow-up it did start to form, especially as I spent more time ruminating on Fjord's character.  
> (As a note, this one should largely make sense on its own - but it'll make way more sense if you read Reserved first. It will be pretty clear from the fic, but this should basically slot into canon as missing scenes in Rosohna)  
> The other inspiration for this story I will share in a future chapter!

It is a quarter to nine on a Thursday; it will be time for a break soon, and things have been heavy lately on Critical Role. There had been some respite a while ago when the party had first started exploring the capital of Xorhas, seemingly with the Bright Queen’s blessing – but that ended with a series of gut-punching episodes.

First, Jannik the moorbounder had died a shocking and ruthless death. It had been right at the beginning of a surprise combat, in which half of the party had been forced to spend the first two rounds making full movement actions just to get to the battlefield. The moorbounders were probably the only reason no party members had been lost – but in the process, Jannik was bloodily bisected.

Then, there had been the harrowing ordeal of getting Yeza out of Xorhas. The desire to keep him around had been outweighed by the need to reunite him with he and Veth’s son, so the Mighty Nein had arranged for them to meet with Old Edith and Luc near the outskirts of the Empire. That episode had ended on a bittersweet note as Sam-Nott promised she would see her family again soon, and nobody was fully convinced.

Then, finally, with the departure of Yeza still hanging over them, Beau had been killed last week. The time frame for Revivify had almost been exhausted as both clerics simply could not get to her due to conditions (Caduceus) or being knocked out themselves (Jester). It has been _heavy_.

Tonight, after finishing off a quest in the Ghost Lands, Caleb inadvertently discovered a lingering magical effect on Yasha, the nature of which nobody has been able to discern. Yasha dispelled it with her own greatsword, but this is the last straw for the Mighty Nein; they are officially getting out of dodge.

The group has split to complete their final errands. Beau took Caduceus to report back to the increasingly deranged-seeming Professor Wacco (thanks to some terrible roles and some yet undiscovered aspect to Professor Wacco’s character, Caleb is no longer welcome). Jester and Yasha went out searching for another moorbounder or other means of quick transportation to manage the deficit left behind by Caleb’s deceased #2 Cat. Despite himself, Travis had Fjord kindly suggest he and Caleb to do a final investigation of the ramshackle bookshop they had eventually found in the city (there wasn’t anything arcane but Caleb did get paper and ink). They have also picked up an order of alchemical components Nott had made a few days previous.

“And Nott, you said you were staying back at the inn?” says Matt.

“Yes,” says Sam. “I would like to stay near the window just above the front entrance of the inn if possible.”

“Yeah, sure. Beau and Jester’s room overlooks the front of the inn,” says Matt. “Unless you guys would have locked it-?”

Laura vaguely shakes her head and Marisha shrugs.

“So I will just watch for people coming close to the inn, and keep an eye out for anyone watching it,” says Sam. “Sometimes just gaze into the middle distance. And I will just fiddle and try to make a remedy of some kind.” He mimes what looks like stirring something in a test tube.

“What kind of remedy?”

“Making healing potions is not a thing that I can do, right?” says Sam, and Matt shakes his head to confirm. “Could I try to make – just something helpful. A tonic to soothe head-aches, some kind of topical cream for burns, something useful…”

“I’ll say you can try to put together a poultice to aid in healing. You and Yeza did buy some specialised chemical herbs; you should have enough to try making a dose."

"We are bringing back more soon," adds Liam in Caleb’s voice.

“You’re not back yet,” says Matt. “But that’s alright, she has enough to go with. I’ll say it will use up the limited supplies you already have at hand, but you can try to put something together. So Nott, go ahead and make an alchemy check.”

“And that’s with my alchemical tools?” Sam says mostly to himself, and a couple of the others mutter something about adding the proficiency modifier. “So… that’s a sixteen.”

“Sixteen, all up?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” says Matt. “Well, I’ll say-”

“No wait, sorry, twenty-three.”

“Twenty-three,” Matt confirms with raised eyebrows. “Okay then. It’s been a while since you’ve made this, but you’re sharp, and you and Yeza talked about this while he was here, and that has refreshed your memory; you know what you’re doing. So, you now have one dose of Healing Poultice. It’s a thick, viscous – not a cream exactly, but more like a jelly. It smells strong and the spicy scent gets up in your nose, up in your sinuses almost like liquorice but with a sharp citrus tang. It will sting, but if applied to wounds, you can gain an extra two d6 hit points when taking a short rest.”

“Two d6!” Sam exclaims, fiddling with his tablet. “Geez.”

“Why haven’t you been doing this the whole time?” Laura teases.

“Dealbreaker at level 3,” Liam adds.

“I had other things on my mind!” Sam-Nott screeches shrilly.

“So just – I’ll add that to D&D Beyond over the break. But make a note that you have one use of Healing Poultice…” says Matt. “Now, as you get back to the inn in pairs and meet up – first Caleb and Fjord, you make your way back pretty early, then Beau and-”

“Can I just-” Travis interrupts. “Sorry.”

“Oh – please, by all means,” says Matt, waving a hand.

 

\- 0 –

 

Caleb and Fjord walk in amicable silence; though both are quite capable of small talk, neither takes a great deal of joy out of it. And they both know what this is – an errand Fjord had more or less made up so Caleb would not find himself in the group responsible for replacing Jannik. The tasks had not taken long though, and after only a brief outing Fjord and Caleb are headed back to the inn with alchemical components and a few mundane books.

“So, what do you think Nott is up to with all these here alchemical supplies?” asks Fjord idly as they grow closer to the inn.

“I suspect she intends to practice alchemy, Fjord,” Caleb says flatly, adjusting his grip on the surprisingly heavy sack he carries over his shoulder.

“… Right.”

They lapse into silence again.

When they arrive back, it has been barely an hour; there is little chance anyone else will have returned. In all likelihood, nobody else from the group will be here yet except for Nott. There is nobody, friend or otherwise, milling around outside of the inn, but both Fjord and Caleb can hear the faint sound of strangers in conversation coming from the common area on the first level.

“I will take this up to Nott,” says Caleb, raising his shoulder to indicate the bag of supplies. “You are welcome to read one of my new novels if you are so interested.”

Fjord is carrying the four novels under one arm. Caleb had selected a couple that seemed insightful about Xorhas, and two just because they were notably bawdy and apparently smut has its uses.

“I’m good, thanks,” says Fjord. “But hold up, I want a word with you.”

They are standing at the front of the inn by now, just feet from the front door. Caleb turns to Fjord and removes the sack of alchemical components from his shoulder, to rest it on the ground.

“You would like to have a word with me - here?” he says, gesturing vaguely to around the small porch, with its strange flora and complete lack of privacy. “Right here?”

Fjord seems hesitant, but then reassures himself.  
“Here’s fine.” He re-adjusts the stack of books under his arm, and straightens his back. “Caleb,” he says, tone low-pitched and pointed “I’ve been meaning to ask. Have you been… thinking much?”

Caleb blinks.  
“Ah – what?”

“About my… suggestion,” Fjord adds. “Have you been thinking much?” Caleb just stares, looking totally nonplussed. “You know what, forget it, I was trying to do a call back but that didn’t sound right…”

“No but on the plus side, you have now made it two call backs in one,” says Caleb with an edge of kind humour, though his eyes are still narrowed. “That is at the very least efficient.”  
He pauses for a beat.  
“But ah – you are referring to your previous… innuendo?”

Fjord is so surprised he actually snorts in laughter.  
“That’s one way to put it. Or you could just say I came onto you,” he says, then emphasises his twang for effect. “Made a _lewd_ advance.”

“Yes, I suppose I could say those things…”

“Well, good. I know how much you like for things to be clear,” says Fjord. “I definitely did intend to proposition you. That is on the table.”

“As I remember it, your intriguing proposition was to ‘take me to bed’, but okay,” says Caleb.

Caleb pauses thoughtfully in a way that suggests he will probably continue – but Fjord’s patience loses out to his nerves.

“Sometimes you’ve got to mix it up.”

 

\- 0 -

 

“What?” Ashley mouths. She wasn’t here when Fjord had originally hit on Caleb. She is woefully underprepared for the charged sense of amusement, awkwardness, and adrenaline that permeates the set. Taliesen shrugs back at her.

Liam looks at Travis quizzically. This time he, and to a lesser degree Caleb, are a little more ready – but only a little.  
“I – ah. Sure,” says Liam-Caleb. “I have heard that variety is the spice of life…?”

“Yep,” says Travis-Fjord. Travis is leaning back in his chair with an air of bravado, but under the table his knee is bouncing with nerves and his fingers are twiddling his pen. “I do love me some spice.”

Liam opens his mouth and then shuts it.

“Fjord spices,” Marisha stage-whispers to Sam.

“But ah,” Travis-Fjord pushes on, “Anyway, you say the proposition was ‘intriguing’; you want to maybe elucidate that point for me?” He pauses. “And I will tuck my thumb into my belt and try to put some swagger back into my whole demeanour…”

“Can I – do an insight check on him?” asks Liam slowly.

“Yeah, sure,” says Matt. “Roll insight. Fjord – deception or persuasion…”

“Sure…” Travis pauses. “Which one though?”

Matt shrugs at Travis with amusement.  
“I don’t know, buddy. What you feel you are utilising most in this moment. You don’t have to tell me, but roll it.”

Travis looks at a loss as he rolls, but evidently decides one way or the other.  
“Not great. Fifteen.”

Liam rubs his temple and holds up two fingers.  
“Natural two, so nine.”

"Nein!" choruses Laura automatically.

“You do still have your knowledge of Fjord, so you know his social strengths. But it just seems like Fjord… loves some spice,” says Matt helplessly. “And he’s got swagger.”

“That’s one spicy seaman!” Sam adds cheerfully and with far too much self-assurance.

“Oh my god,” says Laura.

“Bad Sam,” says Taliesen. “No, bad…”

Travis closes his eyes, cringing like he is enduring literal pain, and Matt covers his mouth with both hands, shaking his head. Sam shrugs and it is probably meant to look apologetic, but it doesn’t in the least.

“Fjord,” Liam-Caleb breaks through seriously. Travis clears his throat and looks at him, refocussing. “Fjord, ah, let us be real here. You cut a fine figure – a fine figure of a man, and you are, I think, a good one, but I am something of a wreck.” He indicates down vaguely towards his torso. “And I gesture to my tattered, dirty – well, not so dirty anymore, but my worn-out old coat and my shabby clothes… I am not quite relationship material, look at me.”

“Caleb, I do,” says Travis-Fjord steadily. “That’s kind of the point…”

Liam’s jaw twitches. Laura presses one hand over her heart, touched, and shares a glance with Sam.  
“I don’t know what kind of – of partnership you might be imagining, but I expect it is far too much for me,” Liam-Caleb says seriously. He pauses in a familiar manner, like he wants very much to get an important point across. “I am a bit of a dumpster fire, and I am living on borrowed time, my friend. I am sorry to say, but I think you will need to find another tree up which to bark; there is no... stability here.”

There is a brief moment of quiet before he adds,

“I should probably go now.”

Travis rolls his eyes.  
“Alright, I am going to stop him _again_ -”

“I did not actually leave, I just said that I should,” says Liam quietly.

Marisha’s whispers ‘oooooh’ almost inaudibly and Laura grabs onto Sam's shoulder. Taliesen holds onto his chin, eyes scanning appraisingly.

“So Caleb’s still there?” Travis clarifies.

“Yeah, didn’t move.”

“Okay, right. I will not grab him then.”

“Anyway, I am sorry to disappoint,” says Liam-Caleb, but alleviates his own serious tone to add quickly: “Having said that, if I did not know better, I might guess that you deliberately pursued one of the people least likely to reciprocate affections. Almost as though romantic sub-plots are not quite in your wheelhouse.”

Travis seems to consider this.  
“... I would not say I have an interest in pursuing a ‘romantic sub-plot’, per se,” says Travis-Fjord, but he never the less seems to have no intention of ending the conversation. “I don’t know that I have ever used that turn of phrase, actually. You’re mighty conspiratorial there, Caleb.”

“Ja, I am a weird guy,” says Liam-Caleb, lightly apologetic.

“Look, I think we’re on the same page more often than not,” says Travis-Fjord. “And I step to… within comfortable arms’ length of Caleb, and I put my hand on his shoulder. Looking him in the eye.”

Marisha slides back even further with widened eyes, as Travis mimes grabbing onto a phantom shoulder, faces Liam fully with renewed focus and determination. He places his hand down on the table as Liam straightens his back, matching him warily.

“Caleb. Of course, I’m happy to take ‘no’ for an answer here,” Travis-Fjord says, “That goes without saying. But one day we’re in the middle of a war zone, the next we’re sailing the seas, and now we’re some kind of… dignitaries?”

“Traitors.”

“Whatever the fuck we are,” says Travis-Fjord. “I’m not trying to start some whirlwind romance or really change much of anything. Hell, my situation’s not super stable either, and I know you’ve got more happening in the background that I don’t see.”

“Preach,” mutters Liam-Caleb.

“So, what the hell, right?” Travis-Fjord goes on. “You caught my eye a while ago, you seem at least curious about me, and we’re grown-ass adults. I figure we can spend all of our spare time at the end of the day fucking reading, or maybe we can spend some of it fucking – you know.”

He tilts his head to the side suggestively and raises an eyebrow. Determined to not interrupt, Ashley makes an imperceptible mic-drop motion.

“Not reading,” Liam-Caleb finishes stiltedly. “That was... quite a monologue, Fjord… I really don’t – _any_ other insight on this?” He looks at Matt.

Matt shakes his head, and Travis does not look sympathetic in the least. He exaggerates his accent teasingly, turning the dial right up to high noon.

“Caleb, I just want to unbuckle your book holsters, boy.”

Liam tries to maintain poise, but in the end raises both hands slightly, shaking his head.  
“So, Caleb is blushing,” he tells Matt, dropping his accent. “Even more than I am blushing.”

“I don’t know, you’re blushing a lot,” Laura interjects unhelpfully.

“There is warmth radiating,” says Marisha, waving her hands towards him like sensors. “From here, from this general area.”

“Oh, you are not helpful, you are the worst,” says Liam, slipping back to Caleb’s accent.

Travis taps his hand on the table again before crossing his arms and leaning back.

“I’m not saying I have a huge amount of experience with this kind of – situation,” says Travis-Fjord. “But I’d like to try. What do you think?”

“I – ah. I suppose… I suppose I am in more or less the same boat?” says Liam-Caleb finally, like he cannot believe his own words. “Before you brought it up it had not really occurred to me to – but what harm can it do?”

“I’m real into your level of enthusiasm here.”

Liam wrinkles his nose.  
“I am down to shtup, Fjord, I feel that at this stage we should both just take this as a win,” Liam-Caleb responds snippily. “Now come on, my curiosity is piqued and I don’t know if the table was fully metaphorical or not, but our time is limited before the others return…”

Liam hesitates for a moment.

“I am going to step forward, and I am going lean in and I will watch Fjord carefully as I kiss him on the mouth. Probably too hard, and not a lot of finesse, I am very much out of practice, but ah…” He pauses. “Enthusiastic. And then I will pull back and hoist the bag of alchemical components back up onto my shoulder, and I will march into the inn pretending that I am not still just… beet red.”

The table is quiet for a moment. Travis addresses the room at large.  
“I will wait a moment as he goes, and then I will whistle at Caleb as he walks inside.”

“What?” exclaims Liam-Caleb, and it is unclear how much is in character. “I am shabby-chic with a sack over my shoulder, oh this is a terrible mistake.”

“So, you guys…” starts Matt, though he doesn’t seem to know quite how to end his own sentence.

“Yes. We will head… to my boudoir,” says Travis without apology.

“… Well, okay then,” says Matt. He hesitates. “This is not what I expected tonight.”

“Woo, yeah!” cheers Laura, and applauds enthusiastically. The others join in awkwardly, one at a time – Matt, then Marisha, then Ashley, then Taliesen, and finally Liam. “Good job!”

“Inspired,” Taliesen agrees classily.

“So,” says Matt after they’ve all had a little time to adjust to Fjord and Caleb getting laid. “Beau and Caduceus will be-”

“Wait,” says Sam, the only person who had not applauded.

Matt stops, and looks at him.

“I was at the window, watching the front of the inn,” says Sam-Nott slowly to Matt.

Matt raises his eyebrows.  
“Oh, so you were…” he says slowly.

A small smile blooms into a big one on Sam’s face.

“She’s on the second floor!” Liam squeaks.

“It’s not the tallest building,” says Matt. “You’ll see them arrive, but – you know what, go ahead and make a perception check…”

Sam picks up his d20 and drops it into the dice tray. Laura leans fully over, one hand on his shoulder.

“Natural seventeen, natural seventeen!” she veritably squeals.

Matt shrugs helplessly.  
“It’s not a high DC, they were not being quiet…”

“I am the best detective!” yells Sam-Nott. Sam throws his head back and gives a shriek of victory.

“Ah, shit,” says Travis.

“And with that, I’d say now is a good time to take our break,” says Matt.

Sam shrieks again, and this time Laura joins in.

Liam laughs, reaching over to half-pat, half-smack Travis on the shoulder.  
“What is this. What happened to reality.”

“I expect no repercussions,” says Travis, and rubs a hand over his face.


	2. During the Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fjord and Caleb have a great afternoon - and on Critical Role, there are some tender moments.  
> Nott and Sam Reigel are... well aware.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! This took longer than expected... but part 3 should not take long *at all*. =] As in, probably before the next episode, or shortly afterwards.  
> Thank you *so much* to the people who take time to comment and leave kudos on this story! It feels like a ridiculous endeavour to try to write something that's played live, but well... here I am. You guys rock.

It is about twenty minutes past ten on a Thursday, and the Critical Role stream is live, the break having come to an end. Liam is missing at first; in fact, he doesn’t arrive back to the table until Matt has almost completed the give-away, and as he makes his way over to his chair, he pauses and stoops briefly to say something quietly to Travis. Travis frowns for a moment, and gestures for Liam to lean back down so he can respond, which Liam does.

Marisha gives a curious half-smile, and shrugs at Taliesen, who is watching from the other table. Taliesen raises both hands in an unspoken ‘what are you going to do?’

Matt claps his hands.

“If everybody is back?” he prompts gently, and Liam pats Travis’s shoulder, mouths ‘sorry’ unapologetically to Matt and hops over to take his seat. “Thank you, Liam…” says Matt slowly, with equal parts amusement and suspicion. He centres himself. “So. You have all finished off your respective preparations and ‘adventures’ as you ready yourselves to travel out of Xorhassian city of Rosohna. Caduceus and Beau, you are making your way back from the Citadel, Jester and Yasha from the markets, Fjord and Caleb from your room at the inn, and Nott from your spot near the window…”

“Matt, I would like to do something,” says Sam-Nott, and everyone looks just a little bit wary.

“Sure,” says Matt. “Just be aware that you’ve been busy with your alchemical work so you won’t have much time here.”

“No that’s alright,” says Sam-Nott. “I would like to pause my work and take a big – _three_ big swigs of liquor.”

“Are you getting intoxicated?” Matt asks.

Sam laughs at him.

“ _Getting_ intoxicated, Matthew? I’m already there!” says Sam-Nott, shrill. “Are you kidding? This country we’re in is building war machines to level the place I _just_ returned my husband to! I’m drunk as fuck, even before this new bullshit!” He waves in the other table’s direction.

There are mild chuckles around the group.  
“Okay, well… I’ll just have you make a secondary alchemy check for me. Just in case.”

“Why?” Laura demands.

“Disadvantage?” asks Taliesen.

“Just roll, we’ll see.”

Sam rolls.  
“So – straight roll with alchemist tools? Twenty.”

Matt gives a narrow look, but nods.  
“Alright, good to know. Now, is that all-?”

“No, I would like to pick up my crossbow, and sneak into the hallway,” says Sam.

Ashley murmurs a question to Taliesen, who responds behind his hand. Liam scrolls through something on his tablet.

“I will load my magic crossbow with a bolt!” Sam announces. “And sneak over to Fjord’s room and listen at the door.”

Travis shakes his head, looking down at his dice tray.

“Sorry, when is this exactly?” asks Liam.

“About five minutes after the _display_ outside,” says Sam in a low, suspicious voice that’s not quite Nott but also not quite Sam.

“Alright,” says Matt. “Well, Nott, you do see another guest in the hallway… Roll a stealth check for me? And Fjord, Caleb, I’ll have you roll perception checks with disadvantage.”

“Disadvantage,” Travis repeats under his breath as he rolls.

“Of course disadvantage, Fjord,” Liam mutters back in an offended German accent.

They report eleven and a very impressive twenty-one respectively.

“… Twenty-nine for stealth!” Sam counters stubbornly.

“You’re at disadvantage because-”

“I’m drunk,” Sam finishes. Rolls again. “Twenty-four for stealth!”

“Well, Nott, the other guest you see is a drunk looking drow gentleman – one of the elder ones, you think, but it is hard to tell with dark elves. He doesn’t seem to notice you, and just heads over to descend the staircase to the common room below. And you make it to Fjord’s door without issue…”

Sam narrows his eyes, miming holding a crossbow at the ready.  
“Ear to the door. What do I hear?” he demands in a scowly Nott-voice.

Matt looks thoughtful and slightly uncomfortable.  
“You hear the soft, familiar voices of two of your friends…”

“Probably some awkward… bumbling,” prompts Travis lowly in Fjord’s voice. “And then apologies for the aforementioned awkward bumbling…”

“Like, 'oh man, Caleb, you look warm, let me take your pants off',” says Marisha helpfully with a wry grin.

Travis winces and nods.  
“Something like that,” he responds in Fjord’s voice.

Liam raises an eyebrow.

“ _Consuuume_ ,” Taliesen contributes in a low, dramatic, Uk’otoa voice. Travis flips him the bird and Taliesen beams.

“Do I hear hell freezing over? Any portal ambiance?” Sam pushes. “Maybe a nefarious sea monster?”

“Make a perception check,” says Matt with a chuckle.

“Nineteen!”

“You listen in and you hear boots hitting the floor. Some rustling, quiet words… you think about it and you are pretty sure – yep, you are listening in on a very private moment that Caleb is having with Fjord. There is no indication of any extra planar beings, or monsters, or portals.”

“Oh no!” Sam-Nott exclaims shrilly at Matt. Laura jumps. “This is crazy! I have to tell Caleb!”

Travis rubs his hand over his forehead, and Sam looks left and right with wide eyes, still miming holding a crossbow.

“But I guess Caleb already knows? Aah! And,” Sam adds, dropping his Nott-voice, “I will go back to my alchemical work. But! I will listen out in case Caleb gets _attacked_.”  
He pauses, glaring suspiciously between Liam and Travis.  
“And when I’m finished I’ll go downstairs to wait for the others.”

“Alright,” says Matt.

“We’re just heading back, right?” says Marisha. Taliesen nods.

“I’m good.”

“When me and Yasha go back to the inn, I would like to give Yarnball the chunk of tough meat that I won,” says Laura-Jester, holding both of her hands out like she is awkwardly carrying what Matt had described as a football-sized chunk of raw, oozing, mystery meat.

“Okay,” says Matt slowly. “Did you put it away, or-?”

“No, I am just carrying it through town all happy,” says Laura-Jester. “If anyone asks I’ll be like, ‘yes, this is my meat, it is for my very good friend Yarnball, thank you.’”

“If anyone gets nosy I’ll give them some of this,” says Ashley, and puts on a mean face, squaring her shoulders like an overly forceful bouncer.

“You get… some looks,” says Matt. “But – you know, not that much more than usual; people around here think you’re weird, but it’s not the first time they’ve seen you in the area. When you get back to the inn, you head around the back and you can see your two surviving moorbounders, Yarnball and Clarabelle. Yarnball eats the meat you bring enthusiastically, kind of-” He gnashes his teeth, pulling back a bit to mime ripping something apart. “It’s a big chunk, so the odd, pinkish blood runs down your arms and you have to quickly pull back before Yarnball can take off one of your hands by mistake… but you feed your moorbounder. And then you head inside?”

“Yarnball, you are so strong,” says Laura-Jester, but then Laura drops her accent. “But yeah, that’s all. I’ll go inside to the others.”

“Just one last thing for me,” Liam interjects in Caleb’s voice with a focussed frown. “Sorry, it will be quick – just as I am about to leave the bedroom to go and meet with my friends downstairs. Ah – after I am fully dressed again, of course.” He turns to face Travis, who folds his hands on the table as if to meet the challenge.

“Muss up your-” Laura starts, gesturing towards Liam. Marisha reaches up to muss up his hair so it sticks up at odd angles, and he sucks at his front teeth patiently. “Yeah, nice,” says Laura. “Better.”

“Thanks heaps, guys,” says Liam.

 

-0-

 

Fjord sits at the end of the rumpled double bed, naked but for his tunic. Fresh, light scratch marks are barely visible on the paler green skin of his thighs. Whatever mementos may remain on Caleb’s more easily marked body are mostly hidden as he already wears his long trousers and boots, as well as his own shirt and belt. Caleb’s lips are thoroughly reddened though, and a small, sharp pink mark is visible at his throat, poking out from under his collar. His hair sticks out in multiple directions.

Fjord seems deep in thought, resting back against his palms on the bed and staring vaguely towards Caleb, who scans the room.

“Fjord.”

Fjord blinks out of his reverie.  
“Yes. Caleb.”

“I am looking for my book holster.”

Fjord cocks his head to one side with a light smile, notably more relaxed than he would have been only an hour previous.  
“Thought you never forgot anything.”

“I was not watching when you threw it away,” says Caleb, stepping over to the bed to look behind it. Fjord’s eyes follow him appreciatively. “I couldn’t exactly-”

“Maybe check under my armor?”

Sure enough, when Caleb crouches down next to Fjord’s armor, he finds the leather straps of his book holster hiding beneath. He tosses Fjord’s leggings over towards him without looking, and Fjord catches them out of the air.

By the time the half-orc has managed to stand up and focus well enough to pull his pants on, Caleb has his books secured and buckled in place, and has slipped his worn jacket on over his shoulders. He makes his way toward the door, but comes to a halt before opening it. Instead, he turns to look at his companion.

“Fjord,” says Caleb again.

“Yeah, uh. Caleb.” Fjord clears his throat and brushes his hands over his own shirt to smooth it out. He steps over towards the door, and looks Caleb up and down. After a moment of hesitation, he reaches forward to adjust the collar of Caleb’s jacket, to hide the mark on his neck. His hand lingers a moment by Caleb’s jaw, but then he pulls it back again quickly. “Are you – you’re alright? You’re good?”

“Ja,” says Caleb, and licks his still-reddened lips. “Should I not be? Are you alright?”

“Oh, yeah! Yeah, I’m – I’m fucking great,” says Fjord, and clears his throat, drawing out his next word in a long, uncomfortable drawl. “ _Satisfiiied_.”

Caleb smiles to himself, and despite the situation, his cheeks flush ever so slightly.  
“I should hope so,” he says. “I am, I admit, somewhat out of practice but when I commit to a thing I do like to see it through thoroughly.”

Fjord snorts despite himself.  
“Right,” he says. “Your hair’s a fucking mess, by the way.”

Caleb immediately reaches up to feel what is indeed an unruly mess of hair, and begins attempting to detangle it with his fingers.  
“That is hardly my fault.”

“Mm.”

Fjord just sort of watches as Caleb does his best to comb through his hair with his fingers, getting it to a point where it is not quite neat, but it also no longer looks like it’s been repeatedly grabbed or flattened up at the back by a pillow. Fjord shifts his weight from one foot to the other, his calm demeanour slipping a little as nerves begin to make their way through the post-coital calm. He looks down at his own scant clothing.

“I should get my kit on,” he says under his breath.

“Or you could not?” says Caleb, running his eyes pointedly over Fjord’s body and lingering with appreciation where Fjord’s hand rests against his hip.

Fjord narrows his eyes.  
“The others are – we’re leaving town, like, immediately when the others get back, aren’t we? I’m going to need my armour.”

Caleb crosses his arms uncomfortably.  
“I was trying to… ja, never mind, yes, you should get dressed,” he mutters.

Fjord runs his tongue over his teeth and steps forward a little more, close enough that he can reach over and touch his thumb to Caleb’s bottom lip.  
“Nothing’s changed?” he says, watching carefully.

Caleb pokes his tongue out to lick the pad of Fjord’s thumb, and it catches ever so slightly on his curved, dark claw.  
“Nothing has changed,” Caleb agrees, looking up the other man with a half-smile.

A moment passes, and Fjord pulls his hand back, resting it on his hip again.  
“Good then.”

He starts to turn, but Caleb grabs his upper arm.  
“Fjord,” he says gently. “I could not help but notice – ah…” Caleb pauses, hesitant, and when he speaks he does so with an air of careful certainty. “Please have no doubt as to the depth of your charm, my friend. You are a man as exquisite as you are thoughtful; I can’t think of anything about you that is not... thoroughly appealing to me.”

Fjord swallows, looking surprised, and oddly small despite his greater height. His tongue reflexively flicks over the hidden nub of his left tusk.

“Anyway, that is all that I wanted to say,” Caleb mutters quickly, looking down and to the left, somewhere behind Fjord’s knee. “And we are standing very close, I am going to go and find a wall to look at for a moment, please excuse me.”

“Uh…” says Fjord slowly. “Caleb, I-”

“This was fun, we should do this again,” says Caleb.

 

-0-

 

The table is quite silent. Marisha has by this point not only pushed her chair back to get out of the way, but has slid out of it to now sort of crouch on the floor, with only the top of her head visible from behind the table. Matt’s fingers are tented in front of his face as he, like everyone else, watches Travis.

Liam turns his chair around to face the table once more, not quite smiling but certainly looking pleased with himself.

“And Caleb will leave,” he says still in Caleb’s voice, “And stop in the hallway in front of a wall and just stare at it for oh, thirty seconds or so.”

Travis shakes his head, watching Liam for a moment longer before facing back towards the front again himself.  
“Yeah, I’ll let him go. I’ll put my armour on slowly before I head out. And I’ll make sure there’s no outward sign of anything… untoward.”

“Like a giant hickey?” asks Laura in her Jester voice, deliberately obnoxious.

This breaks some kind of tension, and Liam looks up at her with a dark grin.

“No, he didn’t leave hickeys,” says Travis offhandedly.

There is a moment of quiet.  
“Wait, I thought you were kidding,” says Ashley. “Did you work all that out?”

“We knew they went off somewhere during the break,” says Taliesen. “But wow, that’s – that’s detail.”

Marisha stands up from the floor, pulling her chair forward and looking over Travis’s shoulder at the papers and screen in front of him.  
“Do you have _notes_ on this?!”

Travis flips his notebook over with a slam.  
“No!”

Liam bursts out laughing.  
“Oh my god, do you? We said it wasn’t locked in.”

Travis huffs as everybody seems to be laughing at him to some degree.  
“There were important details!” he argues defensively. “It was Caleb _lore_!” Matt rocks back in his chair, clapping. “Like you don’t have this shit written down somewhere too, Matt!”

“Wow,” says Sam. “Wow, Travis and Liam sex whispers over the break.”

Another round of laughter babbles to the surface around the group as Laura seems to radiate pure glee and Liam shakes his head.

" _Puuunish..._ " Liam murmurs in his own rough, Uk'otoa voice.

Travis mutters something under his breath and Marisha pats him on the back with mock-sympathy.


	3. After the Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fjord and Caleb have heart-to-hearts with some of their other friends.
> 
> The conversations go very differently.
> 
> \- Or -
> 
> Shenanigans in Critical Role, and Sam Reigel was not invited?  
> Amateurs!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couple things:  
> First - sorry this came out more than a week later than intended! It is longer, but it mostly took more time because I'm a politically active (progressive) person in Australia, so I was thoroughly occupied by the Australian election. I'm actually slightly nervous about this chapter - but hopefully my head is in the game enough, because it was super fun to write.
> 
> Second, regarding canon -  
> This chapter takes place roughly during the first half of E62, so there are some spoilers for that. It is divergent from canon, though, in that the events mentioned in Chapter 1 still happened, so there is a reason for the atmosphere to be a bit different here.  
> Finally, fun side-note. The first line that I thought of, that made me decide to write Mixing it Up, is like six lines from the end of the fic. xD

So, best laid plans sometimes remain just that. Plans.

The Mighty Nein gather in the common room as intended, with a sincere intention to get out of the city of Rosohna. They all agree that danger is somehow mounting within the city, even if they don’t know for sure what that danger may be, nor where precisely it is coming from. They know they have no privacy here, and whatever they do, the Mighty Nein will still be an alien presence to the people of Xorhas.

So, the group is in agreement. Sure, Nott is acting a little bit oddly, sending strange glances towards some of the others… but she’s been kind of off ever since they sent Yeza back to the Empire anyway. The Mighty Nein even have a plan ready: they will exit the capital on their surviving moorbounders, with two of their number (probably Yasha and Fjord) transformed into small animals using the polymorph spell. The spell will be recast a couple of times during this first leg of the journey so they can maintain speed, and once they reach a comfortable distance from Rosohna, the fastest of the Mighty Nein will travel on foot by the moorbounders’ side. They will keep going until they reach the Menagerie Coast. Simple.

But then, Shadowhand Essik arrives, as if on cue.

Now the Mighty Nein suddenly have a more private, allegedly safe, place to stay. It seems that some of those closest to the Bright Queen still have an interest in keeping them nearby. If nothing else, they decide, it is worth staying long enough to find out _why_.

Still, it is only For Now.

 

The Mighty Nein discuss what they might do with this new house, some – the clerics in particular – really taking to the idea of making the structure a home, however temporarily. For others, tension lingers thickly.

On their first night in the house, after most of the Nein have retreated to their respective bedrooms, Fjord lingers in one of the communal areas. The place is furnished, though not lavishly, and for a while he simply paces backwards and forwards on the bare, wooden floor. Then, finally, Fjord sits, reclined, on an uncomfortably firm sofa, and drums his fingers against his armoured belly with a frown on his face. He stares vaguely in the direction of the room allocated as a joint laboratory and library, beyond which lies the bedroom Caleb and Nott have claimed.

 

-0-

 

“I’ll head to whatever room Fjord’s in,” says Marisha. “I want to find him.”

“Easy enough,” says Matt. “You find Fjord, reclined back on the sofa, looking thoughtful but – I’ll say pretty vacant; you don't know why. The house is quiet. On the walls you can see the outlines where paintings probably used to be, but this room, which you’ve turned into a common room-entrance hall kind of location – is plain and barren, like the rest of the house, with no decorations and just some basic furnishings.”

“We should get just, like, fifty tapestries,” says Laura in Jester’s voice. “And hang them everywhere, over the doorways, and only we’d know where the doors actually are.”

“We should get some fake doors too,” says Taliesen in Caduceus’s voice. “That’s the goal, right? To confuse people?”

Sam grins at him.  
“You know what I am going to do? I am going to write that down,” says Sam in Nott’s voice. “We can discuss in the morning.”

Sure enough, he leans over to write onto Laura’s notebook.

“Anyway,” says Marisha. “Where’s the sofa? Like, up against the wall, or-?”

“Middle of the room, unless you have moved it?” says Matt. Travis shakes his head. “Middle of the room, with the back of the sofa facing you.”

“Well then, I’ll just head in and vault over the back rest to sit next to Fjord,” says Marisha. Travis looks at her. "Showing off, come on."

“Roll acrobatics just in case,” says Matt with a half-smile.

Marisha shakes her head slightly as she rolls.  
“This could be so stupid – oh, no, natural fifteen.”

“You vault over, easy. Super smooth,” says Matt.

“Hey Fjord,” says Marisha-Beau, shifting her chair back a bit so she can better face Travis.

“Evening Beau,” says Travis-Fjord. “What are you doing up? Jester try to paint you in your sleep again?”

“Yeah, check this out,” says Marisha-Beau, showing Travis her bare arm.

“Nice, I like it,” says Travis-Fjord. “What is that?”

“It’s a butt,” says Laura helpfully. “With googly eyes.”

Travis changes his expression a little to incorporate confusion and the others grin with varying levels of childish amusement. Taliesen pets Laura’s shoulder kindly.

“It’s a butt with googly eyes, Fjord,” says Marisha-Beau confidently, still displaying her arm proudly. “Jester is the best fucking roommate.”

“That’s good – good for you guys,” says Travis-Fjord.

“But yeah, anyway, I couldn’t sleep,” says Marisha-Beau, pulling her arm back. “I don’t know if I’m just paranoid but it kind of feels like we should maybe have someone on watch overnight. Even though we’re in a house. That’s not crazy, right?”

Travis shrugs.  
“Well, I don’t think it’s crazy, but… I don’t know if it’s necessary. You checked it out yourself; this place is pretty secure.”

“I should have made Caleb spend the damn hour and a half or whatever, stringing up an alarm system,” says Marisha-Beau.

Travis raises his eyebrows, amused.

“What?" says Marisha-Beau defensively. "We’re friends or whatever but I could totally make Caleb do stuff if I wanted to.”

Marisha flexes unconvincingly.

“Ah – hmm,” says Travis-Fjord awkwardly.

“Do you know what that’s like, Fjord?” says Laura loudly and joyfully from across the table, popping a piece of candy into her mouth.

“Oh, come on, you’re not even there,” says Liam, who is evidently using all of his attention to focus on his tablet. “Not fair, Laura Bailey.”

“Anyway,’ says Travis-Fjord hastily before anyone else can comment. He softens his tone, and Fjord's twang takes on a gentler note. “Beau – how’re you holding up?”

Marisha looks slightly taken aback, but it fades into Beau-swagger within moments.

“Well, I don’t know. Got brought back from the dead,” says Marisha-Beau. “I figure that’s me: one, death: zero, so I’m winning… Anyway, I have actually been meaning to ask you the same question.”

“Well I haven’t died at all,” says Travis-Fjord with an amicable chuckle. “I’m fine.”

“Got close though.”

“Yeah, but we do that.” Travis pauses for a beat. “What – are you getting at something?”

“You just seem skittish,” says Marisha-Beau. “I’m not used to seeing that in you.”

“I guess I was about ready to hit the road – but then this happened, so…” Travis gestures up and so the side, as if surrounded by the Mighty Nein’s unexpected new house.

“You miss having a roommate,” says Marisha-Beau.

“Now, what would make you say that?”

Marisha squares her shoulders, expression very direct as Beau.  
“When Caleb and Nott decided to share a room again... You didn’t seem thrilled.”

Travis sighs.  
“I just… I don’t miss those two scheming,” says Travis-Fjord. “That’s all. I know there are things they prefer to keep on the downlow, but I like this bit of trust we’ve got going on. Don’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess. Full disclosure though, I was scheming with Jester earlier and Caleb and Nott are _definitely_ scheming right now.” Marisha pauses. “Want to go spy on them?”

“On Nott and Caleb?” asks Travis-Fjord with amusement. “That ain’t right; you can’t just listen in on peoples’ private conversations.”

“Like Nott doesn’t spy on us…”

“Beau, what did I just say about trust?”

Marisha groans.  
“Fucking boy scout over here. Fine. They can have their secrets.”

“See, I think that’s better.”

Marisha focuses on Travis more sharply, crossing her arms.  
“And you can have your secrets too,” says Marisha-Beau.

Travis frowns. He doesn’t answer for a long moment, and when (in a rare show of restraint from Beau), the silence is allowed to linger, he gives a soft sigh.  
“Yeah alright, that’s fair. Thanks, Beau.”

“If you ever want to share though – remember I’m good at keeping secrets,” says Marisha-Beau. “Just saying. I'm here for you.”

“I know,” says Travis-Fjord. He shrinks in on himself a little more, arms dropping off the table. “I sort of gave my word to someone, is all. You can understand that, right?”

“Man of your word, I respect that,” says Marisha-Beau, and claps a hand on Travis’s shoulder in a show of bravado. She leans in a little after a moment though, conspiratorial. “Although… well, if you told me, they wouldn’t need to know…”

“Beau,” says Travis-Fjord.

“Man of your word, I respect that,” says Marisha-Beau again with a grin. “Well, I’m going to bed. If you are actually missing having a roomie, you can come bunk with me and Jester, but she’s painted like twenty dicks on the fucking ceiling already, so be ready for that.”

“Thanks, Beau,” says Travis-Fjord. "And I... I mean that. Thank you."

“No worries,” says Marisha-Beau, saluting. They are both quiet for a moment as the scene is over. “And I’ll – head back, to bed.”

“I’ll stay up a little longer,” says Travis.

Matt goes to speak, but Laura gets in first.

“Beau, look what I have painted on to the ceiling!” Laura-Jester exclaims enthusiastically. “There are butterflies now. Lots of beautiful butterflies!”

“Aw, you covered up the dicks?” asks Marisha-Beau.

Laura grins.  
“What? Don’t be silly Beau, we can have both.”

Marisha looks up at an imaginary ceiling.  
“Gorgeous, Jester, I love it… Oh look, and that butterfly has some tig ol’ bitties.”

“Her name is Rosambiqua,” says Laura-Jester happily.

 

\- 0 -

 

Caleb and Nott’s room has two beds. It didn’t originally, as the room is quite small, but Caleb had been quite determined that a second bed be brought in. Still, despite his insistence that Nott have plenty of space and a comfortable bed of her own, she hasn’t actually touched it, and her belongings still sit in a little pile at the end of Caleb’s bed, their owner nowhere to be seen.

Caleb is sitting with his knees raised and a large book resting against his thighs. It is thick and heavy, with thin, delicate pages, and he meditatively reads over the words he has neatly scripted for himself, mostly in Zemnian. Four globules of light drift lazily around his head, casting flickering shadows around the otherwise empty room.

Then, suddenly, the door bursts open and the tiny green, befanged figure of Nott bursts in, in a move that would startle anyone not accustomed to having her around. As it is, Caleb just glances up placidly and then looks back down to his book as she closes the door behind her. Nott is wearing a luxurious blue dressing gown which almost but not quite covers the armour she is still wearing underneath.

“Have you found anything interesting, Nott?” asks Caleb.

Nott shrugs.  
“Well, I found robes.” She gestures to the robe she is wearing, and Caleb nods as if it does not look absurd over her armour. “There’s also an attic, but it’s pretty plain. Just some extra house stuff – a tonne of firewood, an empty chest, extra pots and pans. A chair.”

“There is a chair in the attic?” says Caleb, head tilted to the side. He closes his book.

“I know!” says Nott.

“Why would – you are saying there is just one chair up there?”

“We’ll have to investigate tomorrow,” says Nott.

“Sure,” says Caleb. He falls quiet but doesn’t look away.

“Also, I eavesdropped on Fjord and Beau for a bit. They were talking about maybe spying on us but then decided not to.”

“That was thoughtful of them.”

Nott gives a tired smile.  
“They know we’d catch them.”

“We would at that.”

Caleb studies Nott. It is not easy to spot the physical signs of strain on a goblin. There are slightly darker, blue-green tinged circles beneath Nott’s bright yellow eyes though, and she stands just a little more hunched than usual at the end of the bed, arms crossed.

“Nott,” says Caleb. “Are you – are you okay, how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” says Nott.

“Your husband – you know he is okay... Have we been checking in frequently enough? I'm sure Jester would not mind...”

Nott crosses her arms more tightly, and ducks her head.  
“I sent my husband, with near-strangers, into a dark, underground tunnel so he could cross the border from one war-torn country to another.” She twitches, brow deeply furrowed. “What a terrible idea.”

“On the contrary, it was a good idea,” Caleb argues. “Yeza is almost to Alfield, Nott, and Shakaste is on his way with your boy. Your plan is working.”

Nott nods stiffly, and then turns her serious expression back up to Caleb.  
“That’s not what I need to talk to you about, though.”

Caleb blinks.  
“Oh?”

“We need to have a serious word,” says Nott.

With a heavy frown, Caleb closes the book and places it carefully on the small bedside table next to him. He crosses his legs.  
“I am – I am just trying to be helpful, Nott, and perhaps caring is not so much a feature of my skillset, but I… Am I missing something?”

Nott folds her hands together and looks piercingly up at him, yellow eyes sharp and narrowed. She takes a step closer.

“Caleb, I don’t want to frighten you,” says Nott in a low voice, “but I need to say something. Something real – something I never thought I would have to say to you. Ever.”

An expression of panic flits over Caleb’s features, and he clenches his hands into anxious fists by his sides.  
“Nott, I-”

“I think… you may have forgotten something.”

Caleb stares.  
“Ah... what?”

“I think you may have _forgotten something_ ,” Nott repeats significantly. "You."

Caleb looks completely lost.  
“What-what is it that you think I have forgotten, my friend?”

“Caleb,” says Nott lowly, stepping towards him again. She gets almost to the side of the bed. “Have you somehow forgotten that Fjord is fucking terrible? Because he is literally the worst.”

 

-0-

 

The tension breaks and Travis, Marisha, and Matt all laugh out in surprise, Travis banging his hand against the table. While the rest are smiling, Liam looks deadpan and perplexed (which seems to take some effort) and Sam is absolutely, dead serious.

“Oh my god,” Marisha says. “I was actually scared.”

“Jesus,” Ashley says under her breath. “It’s the serial killer vibes, you know?”

“Nott, ah,” says Liam-Caleb slowly, focussed. “You have just frightened the bejeezus out of me.”

“You have been kissing Fjord! Why?” Sam-Nott demands shrilly, ignoring his comment and smacking the table with both hands as the drama reforms into melodrama.

“Nott, I…”

“Don’t you lie to me, Caleb!” Sam raises his pointer finger, pointing at Liam. “Don’t you even think about it!”

“I won’t lie! I would not lie to you, Nott,” Liam-Caleb protests. He raises his hands. “This is just such a 180 in the conversation. How did you even find that out?!”

“I am a _detective_ , Caleb!” Sam-Nott veritably shrieks. “He’s clearly after something!”

Nobody can look away from this exchange. Matt interlaces his fingers and rests his chin on them with a fascinated half-grin.

“After – ah. Wh-what is – Nott, what do you mean?” Liam-Caleb stutters awkwardly.

Sam shakes his head.  
“Oh, Caleb. You silly boy, what have you done.”

Liam actually looks somewhat shamefaced and looks down at the table for a long moment.  
“Look, Nott, I have slept with him only once, and-”

“You _what_?!” Sam-Nott squawks.

“Brilliant,” says Taliesen, as most of the others' expressions range from delight to gleeful curiosity.

“Why – fuck,” Travis presses two fingers to his temple. “We said fucking – 'nothing changes'. We agreed on that.”

Liam’s head is still lowered, but he looks sideways over to Travis.  
“Exactly, so why would I lie?” he murmurs innocently.

“Pay attention to me!” Sam-Nott demands. “I will grab Caleb by the collar and shake him!”

“You’re three feet tall!” Liam protests.

“I will leap onto Caleb’s knee and grab him by the collar and. Shake. Him!”

Matt shrugs.  
“I guess roll an acrobatics check? Why not.”

Sam picks up a die and drops it in his tray.  
“Well, I rolled a three.”

Laura leans over enthusiastically to look at Sam’s character sheet.  
“Yeah, but your acrobatics…”

“Not a high DC,” says Matt, waving a hand. “Your claws have to grip into Caleb’s leg to keep balance, but – well, I guess if anything that just adds to the effect…”

“I will shake him!” Sam exclaims in Nott’s voice. He mimes shaking someone’s shoulders, and Liam leans back a bit as if there is indeed a goblin yelling in his face. “Caleb, what is wrong with you?! What has he done to you!”

“… Well, as I said…”

“Fjord is awful!”

“Minds that are great may differ,” says Liam-Caleb.

Sam huffs and grosses his arms, glaring.  
“I should have known. You can tell just by looking at him. He got what he wanted. He’s the cat that got the cream. You can see it in his sneaky yellow eyes. What a bastard.”

Liam opens and shuts his mouth.  
“I feel that there is a lot to unpack here,” says Liam-Caleb slowly.

“You have to resist your desire for his man-love, Caleb,” Sam-Nott says seriously. “Resist it!”

They lapse into silence as Sam stares Liam down from the other table.  
“I am… confused,” says Liam, in Caleb’s voice but it’s pretty clear that Liam shares this sentiment. “What is – Nott, I know you are not Fjord’s best friend, but I thought that may have settled…?”

“No, he’s the worst!” Sam-Nott insists. “He’s dangerous.” Sam uncrosses his arms and raises one finger, seemingly listing terrible attributes. “He is indebted to a horrifying demigod.” He raises a second finger. “He is probably a sea monster or something.” Raises a third. “He is a _sailor_.” Sam raises a fourth finger, a disgusted look on his face like this is really Fjord’s worst attribute. “He is… patronising.” Sam uncurls his thumb. “And he makes creepy ghost minions and sometimes conjures weird, nightmare-hentai tentacle things!”

Travis shakes his head.  
“Oh wow,” he says under his breath.

“Do you remember that sea witch, Caleb? Remember…” Sam opens his notebook; it takes a suspiciously short amount of time to find what he is looking for, almost like he, too, had been busy through the break. “Remember Dashilla, the ocean fury, who sinks boats with giant storms all the time?”

Liam suddenly looks even more wary.  
“Ja…”

“Remember her ugly skeleton face, and the ghosts in her underwater cave? Remember her creepy, fucked up blood altar?”

“Wasn’t Nott in the other cave with me when they…?” Marisha murmurs almost inaudibly.

“I do remember that…” says Liam-Caleb warily.

“Remember the ancient arcane runes, and all the blood sacrifices she must have performed in order to sink boats and slaughter countless innocent people?!” Sam-Nott demands, voice risen so high it has become piercing.

“Ja…”

“Well, Fjord is _worse than her_!”

Liam struggles to bite back a smile, and Sam is talking rapidly, so nobody can really get a word in anyway.

“Would you have sex with Dashilla, Caleb?" Sam-Nott demands. "Would you?”

“No, I… I would not have sex with Dashilla, the possibly undead sea hag,” says Liam-Caleb.

“No, you would not.” Sam-Nott declares with an air of finality, as Sam brushes his hands together. “I rest my case…” He pauses. “I’ll sort of… straighten by back as I stand on Caleb’s knee so I can look down at him judgementally.” Sam shakes his head slowly, glaring at Liam.

“Nott’s scary,” Travis stage-whispers to Marisha.

“You’re fucked,” she agrees.

 

-0-

 

Caleb sinks back from Nott as best he can with her standing on him, and slides a little down the wall at the head of the bed as he looks up at her. It is a strange image. Nott wobbles after a moment, despite her claws digging into his leg, and he offers her a hand to steady herself, which she reluctantly takes.

“Nott, I feel that there are some layers here,” says Caleb finally. “This is a bit… overblown.”

“He’s obviously using you, that’s all I’m saying,” says Nott, and stares at him for one last, long moment before hopping off of Caleb’s leg to stand on the bed.

“One could argue that I am using him also,” Caleb responds. “I don’t know what you are imagining, but we just – it was a fun time, and we did agree that nothing else is to change…”

“Hmm,” says Nott, unconvinced. “And when did you make this terrible mistake?” she asks.

Caleb doesn’t argue the wording, though it’s clear that he wants to.  
“It has… only happened the once, so far, Nott. Though I will not pretend there was no… foreshadowing.”

“But only in Xorhas?”

“Only… explicitly in Xorhas, ja.”

“So not in Zadash, and, ironically, not on the _Mistake._ Or the _Ball-Eater_ ,” says Nott slowly. Caleb, by now quite flushed, covers his eyes with one hand. “Interesting.”

Nott springs nimbly from the bed and begins to pace in the limited space of the bedroom floor.

“People ah – sometimes they just want sex, Nott…” says Caleb.

“No, that’s not it.”

Caleb uncovers his face, looking hurt.  
“That seems a little bit hasty.”

“Don’t be distracted by his charms, Caleb,” says Nott. She looks back at him sharply. “He’s gotten in your head, that much is clear. But don’t you think any more about his sailor arms or–” She makes a face like she is smelling something unpleasant. “His lithe, eldritch fingers, or – what would you say. Manly glutes, or-”

“No, I… don’t think I would say that, Nott.”

Nott glares at him and goes back to focus on her pacing. She is clearly antsy, but also carries with her more focus and energy than she has in quite a while now. Caleb’s expression softens as he watches her.

“But – you think that Fjord may be up to something, my friend?” he asks carefully. “I admit, I can’t see it but…”

“Of course you can’t see it!” says Nott. “You’re under his spell. He’s got you hooked on his sensuous… sinews.”

Caleb blinks.  
“Um.”

“Don’t be distracted by his sinews!” Nott demands shrilly.

“I will try to distract myself from Fjord’s sinews,” Caleb promises seriously. He hesitates for a moment. “Maybe, ah. You are thinking our friend Fjord is plotting something untoward?” he asks unconvincingly.

“Maybe,” says Nott, “or maybe he’s just in it for status. Fjord knows you’re in charge of this whole operation, he knows you’re the guy who calls the shots.” Nott points at Caleb with alarm. “Maybe he’s sleeping his way to the top!”

Caleb groans with exasperation.  
“Nott, I am _not_ the top-”

He frowns, running his tongue over his teeth as Nott stares at him with narrowed eyes.

“I – I see what you set me up for there, Nott, I will not play that game.”

“Hmm,” growls Nott suspiciously, but goes back to pacing.

Caleb drums his fingers against his knee for a moment, then shifts about to swing his feet over the edge of the bed, feet on the floor.

“You know what, come here.”

Nott shuffles closer, dragging her feet along the wooden floor, her claws leaving little scratch marks. When she has come close enough, Caleb reaches out to hold her by the shoulders, and looks her in the eye.

“Nott, I have to imagine – look, I do not think Fjord is ‘up to’ anything.”

“... You’re okay? You're not hurt?”

Caleb smiles slightly.  
“I am not hurt, I… we had a good time, and I am hoping it will happen again.” Nott blanches. “I don't think it was suspicious.”

Nott goes to speak, but Caleb lets go of one of her shoulders and raises a finger.

“But – and this is a big ‘but’, Nott… I am no investigator, so… what would I know?”

 

\- 0 –

 

Marisha's eyes widen, and Laura claps her hands, bouncing in her chair.

Travis drops his head down to the table with a loud, resonant, ‘thunk’.

Sam clasps his hands together, eyes wide, and he actually looks like he might just tear up.

“Really?” Sam-Nott says.

Liam crosses his hands on the table seriously.

“Perhaps, I am…” Liam-Caleb starts, frowns, and clears his throat. “Nott, perhaps I am indeed… bewitched by Fjord’s ‘charms’, as you say. If you would not mind, I would appreciate it if you might look into this.”

Sam looks down at the table for a moment, as if absorbing this.  
“I’m going to jump into his lap,” he says, “and just give him a big hug.”

“Oh!” Liam-Caleb exclaims as if jumped on by a goblin again.

“And I’ll squeeze really tight,” Sam adds.

“ _Oh!_ ” Liam-Caleb exclaims again, now more breathless as if being slightly strangled by goblin arms. “I hate to ask for such a favour, Nott…” he gasps out.

“I’ll have to do some recon,” says Sam-Nott, beaming. “Some snooping.”

“I understand.”

“And you know, I will probably have to get my business partner involved,” says Sam-Nott. “We’re a team.”

Laura nods, crossing her arms smugly. Travis groans against the table.

“If that is what you have to do,” says Liam-Caleb. “I trust you.”

“We’ll solve this for you, Caleb,” says Sam-Nott.

“Thank you, Nott,” says Liam-Caleb. “And I’ll… pat her on the back nervously.”

“I’m going to pull back and look at him,” says Sam, and then switches into Nott’s voice. “You’re a good friend, Caleb. I don’t care what you think. You’re good at caring.”

Liam-Caleb makes an uncomfortable sound in the back of his throat.  
“Ah, well. You mean a great deal to me; I don’t... make a secret of that…”

Sam beams.  
“I think this is exactly what I needed,” says Sam-Nott. “A very, extremely real, definitely important case.”

Travis finally sits back up from the table and glares at Sam and Laura, then at Liam.  
"You... fuckers."

"Aww," says Matt sympathetically.

"Oh, I do not think I will be getting laid again any time soon," murmurs Liam-Caleb, apparently to himself.

Taliesen clicks his tongue, and Travis flips Liam off.

"Yeah, well," Travis mutters. "We'll just see, won't we."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More than other stories I've written, this has really been influenced by comments - so if you have ideas about things to follow, I'd be curious to hear them (already got some... hypothetical things in mind. No promises). I try to write the characters (and players) in a way that feels close to canon (/... life), so you know these characters about as well as I do.
> 
> ALSO, do you want to come hang out with me on tumblr? BECAUSE YOU CAN!  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ophelialmx
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading - and thank you in advance for all you guys who comment and leave kudos, because you are sweet and awesome and you make me happy.  
> xxxx


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